I took this pic of myself on Saturday March 15th, 2014… a day where I was feeling really GOOD about myself. There’s been this trend on Facebook about posting no makeup selfies… so I did this one… and then today, I posted it again and a friend told me ‘not fair – not a true selfie’ and I wondered why she would say that?!

In my own view and perspective – this is absolutely reflective of my natural self right now. Comfortable in my skin – despite my efforts to keep pushing to improve.

I managed to do 20 days AF and tonight I’m having drinks – even though I had committed to a full month AF… why? Well because it just felt right. It’s been an amazing month. I am having drinks tonight not because I’m stressed or trying to numb anything, but simply want to enjoy a few… I have not had any all month. I have not even watched TV all month… and tonight – I stopped at my gf and had drinks with her and then came home to find that I’d be alone for the evening… something that RARELY happens… peace.. both teen girls out…

I’m truly enjoying my moderate night – without worry of slipping into this ‘dark’ hole or battle again because I know that my priorities lie with my health goals. Plans for tomorrow to be back to AF … working out… going out and dancing and NO BOOZE!!

My true self is an ever changing person… I’m truly seeing and feeling a shift. I don’t have this desperate feel that if I have a drink I will spiral into a negative oblivion… those days are gone and only bright sunshine days are ahead!!

For reference – here’s another photo I’m super proud of … one taken at work on January 30th … I think I’m looking pretty darned healthy – and feeling it – mind/body and spirit!

I engaged with a personal trainer/coach on February 5, 2014 and while the first month wasn’t super successful or strong, when we had our 1st month meeting on March 5th, we decided that we needed to stay in touch more. So this month, I’ve been checking in a lot more, providing her with my daily journal of foods eaten, shared with her what my workouts were and then also shared just overall general ‘how I’m feeling’ things.

My first month – I did not go AF (alcohol free) and when we met, she said ‘how do you feel about saying no to alcohol for the month’ and so I agreed. I can say that making this commitment for the purposes of reaching my health goals (to tone up/lose fat) has made it so much easier for me. I’m no longer having the age old internal battle about should I or shouldn’t I have a drink – because it’s not an option as I strive to stay on program.

Here’s some advice she shared with me that I felt warranted sharing here with you (the first part was relative to her answering my question about going out to dinner for social stuff – YES I am dating again too : ) and the second paragraph was relative to me asking about re-introducing alcohol as I don’t plan to quit forever.

“Never feel bad asking for changes…it’s your body…you decide what you put in it…nobody should question that…especially when you are being healthy 🙂 You’ll get used to it. I don’t think I have ever ordered anything that was on the menu ‘as is’ lol. 

Yes, I think alcohol can definitely be added in…but if you are not able to keep it to 2 glasses, then I would say that it should be a monthly treat, and not weekly….just my opinion…alcohol slows your metabolism, and also causes us to be uninhibited where our food choices are concerned….which WILL lead to a spiral… 

Doing that every weekend, will cause you creep back up to the 170’s, which you are working SO hard at staying away from….it’s a choice you will have to make…I know that sounds tough, but it’s the truth…I would say if you could limit yourself to one or two glasses a weekend, then that’s fine, but if you can’t, then once a month is probably best…” 

Seeing her words, in black and white, made me realize this is a lifestyle choice. Sure I know when I go to Barbados in May I won’t be AF and I will likely drink more than is healthy, but when I come back from vacation, I plan on getting right back on program – including perhaps doing another AF stretch.

From February 26th – I weighed 169.5lbs to yesterday’s weigh in at 162lbs – that’s a 7.5lbs weight loss. My AF stretch is proof that alcohol is simply just not something that fits into the equation for me to achieve my goals. For all the reasons she states… for the simple fact that what I want more is to achieve my goal weight and feel great about myself inside and out, alcohol just doesn’t fit in so much anymore.

Some sober blogs focus on just being AF and nothing else. They tell you to allow yourself indulgences as you cut back on alcohol – but for me that just made me want it more. Focusing on my health instead… has allowed me to naturally wean alcohol out of my life so that it will be a very social/occasional activity in my life and when I do indulge – outside of getaway vacations, it will be VERY moderate.

Everything about life is relative to the choices we make. We are the makers of our own destiny. I choose HEALTH above all!