I can’t believe it took me this long to finally get that “Day 1” back in but it’s DONE! And now with new perspective… with the move and much of the stress at lower levels… and the realization that if I want to lose some weight – daily alcohol doesn’t fit into the formula. And so my goal is to be AF until Friday and only allow myself 1 or 2 days a week when I have drinks. And the rule is to ensure the days I do decide to have drinks – it’s for positive social reasons – and not to ‘numb’ anything or escape anything.
What is definitely helping is having met someone I’ve been able to develop a companionship with. I’ve been lonely and THAT has been my BIGGEST reason for drinking… the whole HALT analogy has to be used before I decide to eat/drink (am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired). If I am any of these then I need to find other ways of coping. I don’t want booze to be a crutch in my life. I also don’t want to say no to booze forever.
So I am feeling inspired again that this is possible. Here’s to a great week ahead!
Well I am still not AF – but I am one thing and that is VERY happy! My life focus right now is not so ‘stuck’ on the booze anymore. Sure I am still enjoying some daily – and at one point that will be addressed as I shift towards healthier living overall but I’m experiencing something right now that I have not felt in ages and that is HOPE for a real friendship with a gentleman.
I have been single since 2002 and I was resigned to the fact that for now, with all that I’m tending to with my daughter’s mental health issues and challenges with school attendance, and my own health/well being as I try to get healthy (by losing weight and cutting out more alcohol), I was not looking for any kind of relationship. I was enjoying dating and going out – but wasn’t really looking or hoping for more.
Last week I was introduced to someone through a friend – he is a widower and it’s only been a week but we’ve seen each other 3 times so far and we’ve been talking daily. I have been here before – feeling hopeful only to be disappointed but this time is different because I didn’t seek it out. It just came to be. And so right now I’m enjoying this new feeling. I am a bit guarded still and trying to take things slowly – but it sure feels good to feel good!
And so naturally booze is not the source that I’m going to for a pick me up – right now I’m enjoying some human contact as my pick me up. Looking forward to tomorrow’s dinner date and spending Saturday together too!
Life is good!