Wow am I ever in a different place since my last post. I guess the vacation did me some good as I used the time to do some reflecting and I’ve discovered a few things. I don’t like how I’m feeling these days because of the weight gain and the booze doesn’t help. I’ve decided that it’s up to me to make the changes – and stop talking about it and start taking action.
So I was inspired and wrote this post on SP Changing Lens (or outlook) and today I came to realize even more… I was tempted to get some drinks as it’s my third night alone at home – my daughter is out but I let the urge pass and instead did so many productive things and then it hit me… I moved in this new apartment (first time for me to live in an apartment in over 20 years) and I haven’t been able to settle in too much. I met this man – who has been consuming a lot of my time/life on Oct 31st. It’s been great – but lately my gutt was telling me something needed to change. I was feeling unbalanced. After 13 years of being single – I am not ready to lose myself in the pleasing/service of another. He’s been a bit of a bummer and I communicated this to him and while I understand I’m not perfect – I just can’t bring myself to be the ‘pick me up’ he needs.
My daughter is finally doing better after about 3 years of me dealing with 2 daughters who suffer from mental health issues and I am finally getting a break! I need this ME time to just enjoy and make this place a bit of a home for myself.
He is buying a new home and wants me to eventually move in with him and I said if I did – it would be next summer – so another year from now. In the meantime I have to make a home for myself.
It’s been tough separating myself in the 2 places as I spend time with him and then there’s the whole social aspect of when you start dating (it’s been 9 months now). There’s more eating and drinking and the weight is creeping up continually. I made a decision that I need to focus on my vision and new goals. As my blog speaks to.
I am looking forward to having drinks tomorrow after 3 days AF. Then Saturday I start the 21 day fix and I am going to try to remain as AF as possible to get the BEST possible results. I plan on making Fitness my NEW Addiction!