When I launched my own FIRST 100 Day challenge to have 100 consecutive days of being Alcohol Free (AF) back in 2016, I rolled into 2017 with the aim/goal of hitting 300 days out of 365 days AF. Well that didn’t happen back then… but my stats keep improving … from 2016 with 209 Days AF to the next two years (2017 and 2018) with 263 days AF.
This 300th day spans over 2018 and 2019 as I had intended on August 12, 2018 to quit for good… but veered off course. But I’m not letting this bring me down. By far… after reading this incredible article – Some Pitfalls of Early Sobriety: Avoiding the Fuckit Bucket and in particular this passage below…
I feel empowered that I keep pushing forward with the intention to improving my health as an overall goal. That’s why I love the community support that has been built into the groups that I lead… where we cheer each other on – whether someone has 1 day or 4 days or 2 years… we are all striving to change our relationship with alcohol.
The point is not always for someone to be done for good – although in many cases we find moderation simply doesn’t work and as this article spoke to – that negotiating play that comes to mind is all part of the process. I’ve printed the article to have it handy as part of my #SoberToolbox and will go back to it when my mind starts to play the ‘F&ck it’ mind game.
I’m learning… that I’m an empath and that I’m super sensitive and when I allow things to overwhelm me I crash. It’s in learning WHY we crash that we can avoid future slips. For now I’m committed to #DryJuly and ending my One Year Experiment on August 12th with this 300 Days in the bag… but still mindful of ending the full year in 2019 with at least the same 300 days to up the stats from the past 2 years at 263 Days.
While Annie Grace (author of This Naked Mind and The Alcohol Experiment) said that we shouldn’t always be counting down sober milestones or days, but rather counting other things such as milestones of when you started sleeping better, or when you had more energy, etc. I’m a numbers girl, so for me looking at the stats and seeing that I’m over 90% of the time AF is a huge WIN for me in comparison to one year where I only had about 18% AF days.
I also track my overall health improvements via my posts in our groups on Facebook and via my blogs here and on SparkPeople. I love Facebook most of all as it brings up memories and shows me just how far I’ve come but it also shows me the patterns that keep repeating and it arms me with the tools to change those too!
The journey to LoseDaBooze will look different for EVERYONE because we are all unique on so many levels. But the community that brings us together in strength is knowing we are not alone in the battle to overcome the addictive pull that booze had on our lives! If you’d like to join in one of my groups – check out my Facebook page and friend me or message me and I’ll send you more info.
It’s never too late to be what you might have been!
A lot has happened since my last blog. After my initial slip off the AF wagon after 277 consecutive days I allowed drinks back into my life. Then re-started with a sober stretch through the end of May and through the month of June had more days with drinks than not.
July 1st marks the mid-point mark to 2019 and it’s an opportune time to do a review of what I’ve achieved and the goals I have yet to reach. It’s an opportunity to shift the scales back in the right direction to make this year a healthier one than last year! Always keeping in mind the principle that “Better is Better“
One thing I’ve learned is that putting too much pressure on myself to be 100% all the time on mark with my goals causes me to crash and that’s what I’ve experienced. Following my surgery – I spent the past 2 weeks laying low and offline as I needed time away from everything to regroup myself. Today is the first day getting back on board – but with a different mindset. I’m going to follow a rule that is similar to the 80/20 rule but fine tuned to Shaun T’s motto of 90/10 – where I do well 90 percent of the time and allow myself 10% ‘give’ to take a breather or break… This applies to food and drinks! I honestly was out of control it seemed with both – and applying the rule to both cutting out alcohol and being on course with healthy eats 90% of the time!
Today was my 296th Day AF (not consecutive but overall) and my goal to stay in the 90% range is where I will end up by August 12, 2019 which will be the ONE year mark since I decided to shift my habits relative to booze.
I know if you read some of my previous posts/blogs – I said I was retiring the habit but this rebel voice inside me fights this all or nothing thing and rebels … so I’m accepting how with each year, my stats keep improving.
Bottom line is if I want to reach my health goals to get back to a healthy weight – I need to cut out booze – which usually leads to eating unhealthy foods and results in lack of motivation to do any of my routine workouts.
So while I’m in post-operative mode and can’t exercise for another 4 weeks – what I can do is clean up my eating/drinking… so the goal is to do a Dry July as a restart/reset. I won’t lie – today had some cravings come calling as it’s a holiday and drinks were all around me – but I stood in my promise to do Dry July. I know I can do this as I’ve done it before and now I’m glad to be joined again with my Lose ‘da Booze 100 Day Success Group as well as the Age 50+ This Naked Mind and The Alcohol Experiment Group.
Doing this with others is what has brought me the most success… so I’m looking forward to being back on track with my community as we strive to #LoseDaBooze for #DryJuly.
It feels good to cross over that 10 day mark again. When you first get back to being AF – the first days can sometimes include symptoms that make it tough to keep going. I had to deal with physical symptoms that I had not experienced in some time including night sweats and more frequent headaches. I’m guarded against my progress as I’m physically not feeling my best and for that reason seeing my doctor on Friday. I believe that I’m experiencing symptoms of depression and with this recognition, realizing that despite my best efforts to heal myself … including being AF, exercising, meditating and taking some natural supplements… it just doesn’t seem to be enough.
I suppose my life situation has also affected where I’m at today. With over 6 years of dealing with constant high stress relative to my daughter’s severe mental health issues I’m just feeling burned out. I’m feeling like things will never get better and feeling a loss of hope. My weight loss has stalled because I’ve turned from booze to food for comfort and that’s just not ok anymore.
I have my pre-operative appointment today, then an appointment for my daughter (to help her with the disability program and hopefully accessing some services for herself) and last but not least – an appointment for myself to access some family support to get me through this.
As I myself am a health coach – I recognize that while I provide support and guidance to many through my groups, that I too must practice self-care and get the added support I need to get through this phase. There is no shame in asking for help. If nothing else, I see this as another piece of experience to add to my repertoire to hopefully be able to help others who may be going through similar situations.
I believe in my strength – but I also acknowledge I’m human. The priority to stay sober through this is KEY (despite my wanting to sometimes turn to it to ‘cope’ or numb my way through). I know that this is not the answer. Rather – the support groups, the counseling, checking with my doctor to make sure there’s no physical reason for how I’m feeling is what I’m working on this week.
Having crossed the 10 day mark – I’m now focused on reaching Day 21… which will happen post- surgery. I’m looking forward to what I hope will be 6 weeks of time off work to recover on many levels – healing my body, mind and spirit.
I achieved 277 consecutive days AF and then on May 17th I decided to join my fiance and had some drinks… and those turned into a string of 9 days of being off course. I re-started my count on May 26th – but do not call it “Day One” anymore.
Day one was back in 2013 when I first tried this thing called sobriety as I realized I wanted to shift my relationship with ‘da booze and thus created this blog.
The blog is my accountability and journal keeping of the experiences along the way. What I can say is that since December 16, 2016 when I finally completed my FIRST 100 consecutive days sober – I felt on top of the world. I had been trying since 2013 and never managed to string it along … but then it happened. I then launched the group on Facebook “Lose ‘da Booze 100 Day Success Group” to do a 2nd 100 consecutive days AF. I achieved that in April of 2017 and felt amazing !
Then SLIP happened – I fell off track for about 5 months and jumped back on for 174 consecutive Days AF… and slipped off again…
And now this latest one. Do you see a pattern? And by that I mean do you see how better is better. I remember back in 2015 I believe when I only had a TOTAL of 65 Days AF in the entire year!!
I did declare that I wanted to retire this habit once and for all but I guess I’m still a work in progress but each experience I believe is making me stronger and wiser. It’s not easy to share the slip – but I believe in transparency and accountability as a means of being honest with myself most of all.
When we hide or pull back – that’s when bigger problems usually come into play. So yup – I’m back on board and have not lost the “TROPHY” of 277 Days… and COUNTING as I build up the next step on the journey! Want to follow my journey? Check out my public page on Facebook for daily inspiration Healthy4Life with Helene (follow and hit ‘like’) or check out my website as I am also now a Certified Wellness Coach (another dream achieved in December 2018 as part of this forward progress/journey)!!
The day has arrived! Just like when you count down to the end of a pregnancy and complete the gestation… the work begins on forming this new life and learning to now focus on growing in other ways!
Sobriety is like a baby and it needs day to day attention. You must guard it with your life and nurture it consistently. There are days when it may require more attention than others. There are times when life seems to be sailing along smoothly and you barely notice a difference and other days where the waters are rougher and you find yourself looking back to old habits and means of coping.
My personal experience has been different this time when I compare it to my other longer stretches of the TWO first 100 days AF. The results that I achieved from the first stretch do not compare to this longer stretch and what I’ve accepted is that I make my own destiny by the choices I make.
What I can fess up to is that I have had this attitude of simply giving in to my sugar cravings for comfort and have discovered how it unearthed the once childhood issues I had with emtional eating that then graduated to coping with alcohol.
I now know that the work to stay the course with my own sobriety involves doing the work to heal the WHY I go to masking my emotions and being more mindful.
The transference of addictions is a very common thing – thus I switched from booze to junk foods and now am ready to begin a new path with a new focus. As I continue being AF – I now intend to focus on shifting my go to habits to the coping mechanisms that I know will help me to heal at a deeper level and allow me to reach the happy weight that will be mine again!
No more masking of emotions. Yes to working out the stress, frustrations and anger with some good workouts! Yes to using meditation, the support networks and tools I’ve gathered along the way to allow me to feel good in my skin again!
Don’t get me wrong – I feel great and very proud of this milestone that once felt unreachable. It’s THIS success that proves to me that I can do anything I set my mind to so while I continue my AF life – so do I now shift my focus to reaching my 53rd birthday in September and One Year AF milestone standing that much taller and that much wiser!
Today is day 265 AF – and I’m now 100 Days away from achieving my one year milestone! This is iconic for me as I started with the goal to achieve 100 Days AF … and now I’m counting backwards to achieving the full year AF.
I have been reading a lot and reflecting on the posts in our groups (online Facebook groups that support an AF lifestyle) and it seems that what I’m experiencing with the stronger urges of late is not unusual. As we work to live a sober life – there are phases that come through. Early on the desire to be AF is strong as the memories of why we chose to take the route is fresh in our minds (with alcohol still in our bodies and making us feel like crap). Later in the journey – when we’ve completely detoxed and feel better, we start to romanticize that maybe we can allow ourselves drinks again.
I made a choice on my 50th birthday to live a life without booze and believe in it so much that I created a forum with my Lose ‘da Booze 100 Day Success Group for others to join in as there is strength in numbers. I also joined Annie Grace’s groups (This Naked Mind and The Alcohol Experiment) as additional sober tools to help me on the journey.
I toyed with moderation in between some successful 100 days and then on August 12th – before my 52nd birthday decided that 40 years of booze in my life was enough! I wake up this morning following a very difficult day with super strong urges to cave in… and the feeling you get the morning after when you DON’T cave in is priceless! That’s what I have to bottle and remind myself of the next time an urge comes a calling.
Thank you to all who cheered for me and posted comments of support! Reading that I was someone you looked up to also made a huge difference as there are times when I am not sure what I’m doing is that great… but always hoped that perhaps I’d inspire others. So here’s to my NEW countdown of 100 Days… to ONE year of NO BOOZE!! #LoseDaBooze
As I near my 9 month milestone I find myself back to a place of questioning so much again. I’m writing this for my own accountability and thought process and perhaps to share that sobriety is something you need to work at every single day.
I’ve had many cravings and even instances of walking into the liquor store and touching the bottle of my drink of choice thinking it might be ok to just let go and allow myself the break.
Things have been difficult of late with many stressors sucking at my energy and I’m finding my motivation is wavering. While I always try to put up a good front for everyone else, I feel like I need to take a bit of a step back to WHY I came to be here in the first place.
I’ve been AF for 263 days … nearly 9 months and it’s like when you’re coming to ‘term’ with a baby inside of you – you want it to end or you want to break free and get your body back! I’ve been struggling with emotional eating and my weight loss has stalled and I’ve even regained over the past month and I’m feeling this funk… but I know from experience – it’s about pushing through it.
It may mean taking a break. Giving myself some down time. Unplugging and getting a new perspective again. I’m off today and sitting here debating about what to do with this day … and so far I’ve done my usual check ins with my groups and decided to write a blog to share to my Lose ‘da Booze and This Naked Mind and The Alcohol Experiment age 50+ group.
It’s Friday and yup – it’s the day many struggle with more when it comes to new sobriety as it’s viewed as a time to let go and unwind… HOW I do this has changed over the course of my stretch. My resolve to be done for good 100% with booze has been eaten away with the strong urges and cravings but I’m reminded by my friends that I’ve come so far…
I guess I’m just tired. Thankfully it’s a NEW moon tomorrow and I hope to reset intentions and goals with it. I’m hoping to view my 9 month milestone as the creation of a NEW life in sobriety – all the while understanding that it’s an ongoing growth and learning process. I may slip, trip and fall here and there (right now with my motivation to exercise and emotional eating) but I’m not giving up and it’s because of the community of support in the groups that I stay the course.
Working to make this a successful day – starting with a shower to freshen up and wash away this negative energy and embrace my day off with gratitude and make the most of it instead of wasting it away sitting in the darkness binge watching Netflix all the while binge eating which has been happening too much this past week.
I became a health/wellness coach because through my own journey I wanted to share my real honest path and hopefully inspire others to not give up either! No matter what the day brings – no one can take away my success so far and if I stop counting consecutive days and look at my track record and improvement since 2013 when I first started with only 65 days AF in an entire year… I’ve come a long way baby!!
Today is day 258 AF for me… and it took me a long time to get here. What I have learned is that you can’t make anyone ‘get it’ and it’s something that has to grow as part of their own desire.
I remember when I first tried to do a 100 day stretch back in 2013 and I could barely string along a few days AF – let alone 30. In that year I managed to do ONE 30 day stretch and couldn’t muster up the will to do another.
If I am honest – it’s because I wasn’t really REALLY ready to do so. Until I was 100% ready to let it go (the alcohol) – I would come up with excuses or justifications to say it was ok to drink and I wasn’t that bad.
Even now, over the past week or so – my mind has been talking to me saying that it wouldn’t be so bad to have some drinks but I resist because I know how hard I worked to get here.
I have to remind myself of my WHY… and as you string along some days and start to feel better you sometimes forget WHY you started in the first place.
Sobriety is something you have to work on every single day. It does get easier and the voices get less loud and less frequent, but they have a sneaky way of creeping in at times (especially as the nicer weather approaches). The difference is about staying the course in terms of why you chose to quit completely or why you decided to take a break and perhaps be more mindful of when you do drink.
If you’d like to #LoseDaBooze and need some support to get there, read more about how to join here.
Choosing to Lose ‘da Booze is something I am very proud of and something I share publicly while others may do so privately … but here’s my WHY…
When we decide to make a lifestyle shift/change – it’s not always easy. And what helps is having accountability and non-judgmental support. I worked on trying to get here for over FIVE years! I struggled and stumbled, but kept at it and pushed forward.
My WHY is now about sharing my journey and possibly helping others to achieve this level of freedom and clarity that comes when you finally let go of the grip that alcohol had on your life.
I wasn’t at rock bottom by any means. I don’t like labels and have never put myself in a category of being an ‘alcoholic’ … but I knew I had to change my relationship with alcohol as this ‘go to’ substance that gave me supposed liquid courage or this numbing power.
I now choose to live life to the fullest and that means experiencing the great joys as well as feeling the feels of challenges and learning how to navigate them in healthier ways.
I was so passionate about helping others that I finally pursued my dream and became a Certified Wellness Coach and Registered Health Coach to help guide others to living THEIR best lives!
This will be my first full year of sobriety and I’m so grateful for the gifts it has given me so far and I’m excited about the many amazing opportunities that await me as I choose to #LoseDaBooze for good! If you want more info or want to connect with me, check out my Facebook Page for daily updates and like/follow me there! Here’s a video montage about why I quit for good! Subscribe to my YouTube Channel and stay tuned for new videos coming soon!
Better and better every day… that’s what you get when you discover the freedom and clarity of simply saying NO to booze!
I’m beyond counting days to now counting months and I can’t tell you just how amazing it feels to finally be rid of the internal mental battle that plagued me daily – especially come the 3pm to 5pm window – where I’d start to try to convince myself I deserved a drink and that it was ok.
I tried moderation so many times and while I wasn’t a problem drinker in the sense of not being able to fulfill my daily obligations and function at work – it definitely robbed me of who I really could be!
Since finally retiring the habit for good my life continues to improve daily. I still have challenges that come up, but so much better equipped to deal with them as I now do so without the crutch of alcohol. Booze was a temporary and very short lived fix that then led to so much after ‘negative effect’ including lowered energy, hangovers, lack of productivity, anxiety, more stress, unhealthy eating and missed workouts… and I could go on!
What sobriety gives me is the exact opposite! I now have a life that I am proud to live. I feel like my soul is shining again and I’m living a life of purpose! In the short 7 months I’ve lost 20lbs and just as many inches. I have completed my wellness coach certification and now also registered as a health coach in Canada. I have launched my website Healthy4LifewithHelene. I have launched my first ever paid group and going into my 3rd month. I have my first paid client for an intensive 3 month program and now looking to launch a program specific to help others Lose ‘da Booze as I did.
My relationships are better because I’m more patient and I can recall my conversations. My productivity has increased immensely and my health has improved. My motivation to workout is consistent and my energy levels are awesome!
I sleep better, my skin looks amazing (I think I look younger now than I did when I first started this journey to total sobriety in 2016).
This will be my first full year of sobriety and I’m so grateful for the gifts it has given me so far and I’m excited about the many amazing opportunities that await me as I choose to #LoseDaBooze for good! Check out my Facebook Page for daily updates and like/follow me there! Here’s a video montage about why I quit for good!