There’s ONE week left in R’October Sober and I’m already planning to keep this sober train going! I’m going to make November one to Remember – with clarity and hangover free days as I continue my AF ride! I’ve invited others in the group to join in as well!
I’ve been listening to the audible version of Claim Your Power the past couple of days and it’s been like a review for me because I feel that I’ve reclaimed my power ever since I started letting go of ‘da booze in my life for these challenges. The work he has you do about figuring out your ‘original incident’ or reasons why you keep going to SP’s (survival patterns) is something I’ve done over the years through therapy, counseling and my own personal development with readings and workshops, as well as the monumental Soul Re-Structuring session I did last September that was the ‘flip of the switch’ for me! My next session is booked for November 3rd (you can only do this once a year) and I hope it gives me a nudge to propel me even further ahead.
You see listening to the audible and having it make me think about WHY I turned to booze – well it’s kind of sad… when he named reasons or examples – it was like I could identify with many of them – including abuse (as early as I can remember when I was a child and a neighbor propositioned me), some physical, emotional and psychological stuff. Having witnessed many negative scenarios relative to my parents and aunts and uncles drinking way too much and how as kids would hide in fear … as we didn’t understand it.
I picked up drinking at the age of 12 – to be cool (or to appear to be that)… I’d sneak it from my mom’s bottle and pour some in a pop can and go out with friends and it made me feel like I fit in somehow. In my early years I did anything but fit in. I was teased about my glasses, my buck teeth and taunted and even got into a fight with a guy in my class. Having to recall my past gives me a knot in my stomach and yet – it provides some understanding as to how I ended up where I did and how I seemed to keep attracting the wrong kind of people and relationships into my life… until a few years ago.
Where I stand today is very different from where I was then. I am now stronger, healthier and feel much more in control of my life. The alcohol does not have the appeal anymore because I’d rather live an authentic life and feel all the feels… good and bad. And there are still some challenging ones in there with my daughters’ stuff.
But here I sit today – feeling proud of my achievement in completing a couple of challenges and recognizing there’s more work to do in this area and that perhaps this may turn out to be more than a one year break… but for now soaking it all in as my own experiment.
Every morning I get up and look forward to sharing inspiration in my group on Facebook – our Lose ‘da Booze 100 Day Challenge group… and knowing it helps others brings joy to my heart! I got to the part in the book where it speaks to finding your purpose … and the group – my mission to share my own experience about how alcohol really isn’t ‘all that’ is what I want more than anything.
I’m feeling strong and committed to seeing this through to my 52nd birthday (Sept 3, 2018) and then we’ll see what path lies ahead… for now it’s just one day at a time… working towards my dreams!!