Difficult times

I’m currently living through some really hard times with my 12 year old… she had to be placed in a residential crisis unit last Sunday for a couple of days and she’s acting up again today. She has been diagnosed with depression and now has issues with eating and it’s so hard to deal with. 

I am trying everything to reach out, but her rudeness just floors me. Thank GOD I am not drinking or I just could not handle this and well – it would not be pretty I’m sure. 

I am having to deal with crisis workers, the psychiatrist, the school – and trying to be present for my job too. I have had to miss or re-arrange my work to accommodate all she’s been going through and this has been going on for a couple of months. It’s really hard. 

I know this too shall pass – but right now, feeling my little family is struggling (my 16 year old is also depressed and experiences anxiety – while she’s a bit better with the medication – this situation is affecting her too). 

All I can say is that I am grateful for my resolve to be sober right now – because I sure need a clear mind to deal with all of this. With no father figure in the picture – there’s no breaks for me. I also don’t have much support in the way of family around this and trying to do the best I can.

Sometimes it just feels like it’s never enough. 

4 thoughts on “Difficult times

  1. Elle says:

    Hugs. Stay strong and know you are doing the best you can. xoxo

  2. bizi says:

    I think you are amazing…I keep saying that because it is true!

  3. Ach…I can’t imagine what it’s like. I don’t have that experience to draw from, but man, it sounds like it’s hard on you. And what is amazing though is that you have no waver in your resolve to stick it through sober. If you think there’s no wiggle room now, imagine if you were drinking still. It would be such a whole other hot mess. And that’s what sobriety gives us – a chance to move through the the things we used to try and cover up. And it’s hard. It’s a slog. But the benefits of doing this all sober outweigh anything else. You become a survivor. Someone with coping skills that weren’t there before. And the great thing is that your children see you do this…and it sets an example for them. A great one.

    You’re right. This too shall pass. And remember we are passing through it, not staying in it. It moves. We move….through what we need to to learn what we need to. Doesn’t mean it can’t suck. lol.

    Anyway, proud of you for this and sharing the way you do.


  4. losedabooze says:

    Thanks Paul. It does suck and I never know what ‘mood’ I’m going to be dealing with from day to day. This morning for instance, given the way the night ended, I’m going to go into work late to make sure she gets off to school ok (I normally leave before her). Thankfully, I have a supervisor and workplace that is understanding and flexible as they know what I’m dealing with. I am very grateful for this. Being sober is the only way right now – and YES I am and will continue to be a survivor, but even stronger now that I am not covering it up, but dealing with it sober and head on.

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