You know the saying “My kids drive me to drink” (or whoever/whatever situation you can think of or often say to yourself ‘oh a drink would be so good right now’)… well in my case, it’s the opposite. With the very serious nature of all I’m facing with a 12 year old daughter who is living with self-harming issues, anxiety, depression, rebellion, dis-respect, experimentation with drugs/alcohol – I have decided that I simply can’t and DON’t Drink!!
I noticed the one night when she took one beer from the fridge – I know we have all done that as kids, but somehow to me it seemed like something I needed to nip in the butt. No more booze in my house.
I had a very trying day with her again yesterday and went to see the counselor (I see her counselor for parental support and help with strategies) and he asked me about how I was coping. I had mentioned to him that I was not drinking because of all of this and he asked me in our session yesterday “How are you doing with your sobriety” and the question threw me off for a bit because I didn’t tell him the depths of my ties with alcohol – only that I was not drinking because of the current situation in my life with my daughter. It was very easy to answer though – I told him “I’m fine – I don’t drink” and he said “with all you’re going through you should congratulate yourself for that accomplishment”.
If I had been asked that question in the past or at a time when I was still occasionally drank I would have become very defensive or feel very guilty inside. It was a great feeling NOT to feel that!
Yes it’s early in the game and NO I’m still not counting except for the fact that on my 47th birthday (September 3, 2013) I made the conscious decision that I don’t drink anymore.
Following yesterday’s hard day – the thought of having one to cope did not even enter my mind. This switch I’ve made has been liberating as the debate is no longer festering in my head about will I or won’t I – it’s plain and simple I just DON’T – just as I don’t drink coffee, or don’t smoke!