For me to stay trapped in the cycle of boozing it is just not a good place for me. I’m finishing up Day 3 and the thoughts are already creeping in about whether or not when I make my ‘move’ and have people helping me out, if I’ll join in and have a few drinks after a hard days work.
I asked for help to move as I’m a single mom and the easiest way to get the guys from work to help is with the promise of drinks and eats (aka – beer and pizza). It’s cheaper than paying for movers – and I’m really lucky they said yes because I would have been STUCK. It just goes to show you about how alcohol is everywhere – even during a move when people sit down after the job is done to enjoy a few cold ones. It will be interesting to see how I handle this.
I keep bouncing around in my head about quitting for good or learning to be moderate – even though in the blog from a few days ago I recognized I can’t be a moderate drinker.
This is such a struggle – to change my mindset. I know I have to keep blogging and logging on and reading posts and thoughts from others going through what I’m going through.
I know I want change in my life and I want to grow beyond this trap of always thinking about how alcohol is part of life – how conditioned we have become to think that way (well for me it was all around me most of my life with my family as well).
So while I’m still hoping for that ‘clean’ slate when I move to the new place and I have said I would never resort to drinking alone for no good reason – I’m already debating about having some the day of the move (even though it’s not before Sept 28th). I need to keep reminding myself that I need to think in the NOW and TODAY…
For today – I am sober …