As I near my 9 month milestone I find myself back to a place of questioning so much again. I’m writing this for my own accountability and thought process and perhaps to share that sobriety is something you need to work at every single day.
I’ve had many cravings and even instances of walking into the liquor store and touching the bottle of my drink of choice thinking it might be ok to just let go and allow myself the break.
Things have been difficult of late with many stressors sucking at my energy and I’m finding my motivation is wavering. While I always try to put up a good front for everyone else, I feel like I need to take a bit of a step back to WHY I came to be here in the first place.
I’ve been AF for 263 days … nearly 9 months and it’s like when you’re coming to ‘term’ with a baby inside of you – you want it to end or you want to break free and get your body back! I’ve been struggling with emotional eating and my weight loss has stalled and I’ve even regained over the past month and I’m feeling this funk… but I know from experience – it’s about pushing through it.
It may mean taking a break. Giving myself some down time. Unplugging and getting a new perspective again. I’m off today and sitting here debating about what to do with this day … and so far I’ve done my usual check ins with my groups and decided to write a blog to share to my Lose ‘da Booze and This Naked Mind and The Alcohol Experiment age 50+ group.
It’s Friday and yup – it’s the day many struggle with more when it comes to new sobriety as it’s viewed as a time to let go and unwind… HOW I do this has changed over the course of my stretch. My resolve to be done for good 100% with booze has been eaten away with the strong urges and cravings but I’m reminded by my friends that I’ve come so far…
I guess I’m just tired. Thankfully it’s a NEW moon tomorrow and I hope to reset intentions and goals with it. I’m hoping to view my 9 month milestone as the creation of a NEW life in sobriety – all the while understanding that it’s an ongoing growth and learning process. I may slip, trip and fall here and there (right now with my motivation to exercise and emotional eating) but I’m not giving up and it’s because of the community of support in the groups that I stay the course.
Working to make this a successful day – starting with a shower to freshen up and wash away this negative energy and embrace my day off with gratitude and make the most of it instead of wasting it away sitting in the darkness binge watching Netflix all the while binge eating which has been happening too much this past week.
I became a health/wellness coach because through my own journey I wanted to share my real honest path and hopefully inspire others to not give up either! No matter what the day brings – no one can take away my success so far and if I stop counting consecutive days and look at my track record and improvement since 2013 when I first started with only 65 days AF in an entire year… I’ve come a long way baby!!