Today was a day to open up and talk about mental health issues. So I thought I’d share that I myself have been through depression, I have experienced major anxiety and I also have been a parent to three (including my step-daughter) girls who have suffered from the same. Both of my own girls were subjected to horrific experiences in their lives which brought on a lot of hurt. Both have used self-harm as a means of releasing some of their pain.
I’m happy to say that at least the self-harm days are behind us but the scars will remain forever.
Many times I used to use alcohol to try and cope and make myself feel better – when in fact it most often perpetuated or worsened some problems. Now that I have 25 days in and a 100 day abstinence period behind me – my perspective on dealing with stress, anxiety and depression is so different.
I am finding healthier ways to cope such as starting a group on Facebook where we have some day to day accountability and support and it’s extending beyond just being AF to sharing on other topics to bring us more health.
I have a new addiction these days and that is to my workout programs. I look forward to them every day and when I miss them I feel the difference. I make time for them – schedule it in my calendar. I use my FitBit to stay motivated and try to reach my 10,000 steps a day.
Today my outdoor walk at lunch was necessary to try and deal with some stress relative to my daughter having a few bad days. And during this walk my phone fell and broke .. replacing it cost me $226 – and this would have just been the thing that would have made me snap and want to say ‘fuck it all – I may as well drink’… but that did not, nor will it happen.
Instead – I came back home and I am alone until bedtime (my partner is out for training with work). I am here blogging and checking in. And I am looking forward to my night time pampering routine – the epsom salts bubble bath by candelight.. and getting to bed early enough to wake up at 3:45 and get my routine and new day started!
Not once did I crave a drink – and there’s tons in the house … and even alone when I could sneak it and ‘not tell you’ about it – I won’t because when I commit to something – especially outside of just this personal secret commitment but when I put it out there – it means so much more.
So on this day where we are to try and be more open – I share again how I am bit by bit sharing more publicly about this issue – the alcohol issue… because I think it’s another one that many don’t discuss but experience. So let’s open up bit by bit – share as you feel comfortable. You may be surprised by how positively people react.
I am trusting all of you … and sharing in the hopes that perhaps my story can help others.