Losing It…

I chose to name my blog Lose ‘da Booze, which was a bit of a spin off my team’s name on another website that I lead called Cutting Down The Booze. It’s a website that has to do with weight loss (and I’m not being too specific because I kind of want to keep these things a bit separate – although they are tied in some ways).

The alcohol in my life has caused me to gain weight over the years. It was my crutch, my cushioning to numb myself or protect myself from the stress of the outside world that I was dealing with. Whenever I drank, I also ate, a LOT, and mostly bad foods for me – so double whammy! I would wake up the next day feeling awful about it and then the hunger was there – need the food to coat the stomach and recuperate after all that drinking right?! And then sometimes, the drink would come again.

I am here because I know I am not able to be a moderate drinker at this point and so I have chosen to abstain – for the 100 day challenge and after that we’ll see. Tied to this challenge is my goal to become healthier in other areas of my life. I have been a long time member of this website. I was successful in losing 30lbs and when I look at my journal – it happened when my drinking days were to a minimum. I am now working to lose the 20lbs I regained and beyond to reach my ultimate goal. In the past I was able to lose weight and drink maybe one day a week but that was 1 or 2 drinks. Nowadays, when I would have 1 drink – well it would turn into ‘let’s finish the bottle’ and the 1 day of drinks would turn in to 2 or 3 or more and it would be that much harder to stop again.

While I know that in order to succeed at this challenge I can’t take on too much or I’ll get overwhelmed and quit, but as I told Belle – I will NOT relapse over food. Yesterday I was feeling a bit ansy – didn’t know what to do with myself and opening up the cupboard doors, the fridge… was I hungry – not really, but I was looking for something. I ended up having a few snacks and then came upstairs to my room to remove myself from the area that I am most tempted.

I’ve setup my room as sort of a zen like space where I come to blog and read, or simply meditate. It’s my escape when I need it. I also have the wonderful river near by and I did go for a walk there too in order to try to get past these feelings.

I spent the day with my 16 year old and we went to walk around and browse the market. We talked and she mentioned ‘you haven’t been drinking much eh mom – I haven’t seen alcohol in the house for a while, or not much’. Her observation meant so much because we’ve been going through some tough times (in the Fall she moved out on me for a couple of months and said that my drinking was part of the reason). I acknowledged her observation telling her that this month, with the exception of last weekend, I have been sober. I also made it known to her about this 100 day challenge I’m taking – so really putting it out there for accountability by those who mean the most to me.

You see, my mom when through a heavy drinking phase and when she drank, she was downright nasty and moody. I remember not wanting to be around her so I understand I guess where my daughter was coming from – although I didn’t think my drinking was that bad. I don’t want my kids to remember a mom that drank too much. My parents were both very inactive and didn’t do much – I pride myself on working out every day almost. They see this in me. I bug them to come take walks with me. Working where I work has something to do with that because it’s what we’re all about – being healthy and active and we also deal with obesity research.

So while I’m losing the booze in my life right now – I do also hope to lose the weight again and with just 6 days sober, I’m off to a good start. The booze could cause my weight to fluctuate by 3 to 5lbs in a day!! I’m happy to report that from Monday to today – I am down 5.5lbs – and that makes me incredibly happy!

I promised Belle though, that if I felt the hunger/cravings … I would cave in to sweets/treats rather than booze and perhaps on those days kick up the activity.

It’s true what they say about people like us, at least it’s an observation I have made, is that we have addictive type personalities. When we let go of one habit, it’s like we have to find something else to replace it. I’m choosing health and fitness to do this – because it is also another passion in my life that I wish to pursue, inspired by my co-workers on a daily basis!!

So yup… I’m ‘losing it’… ‘da booze and ‘da weight. I am turning 2013 around before we reach the halfway mark and as I made that resolution in January (which many may have made) – I AM going to make 2013 the BEST year of my life!!

6 thoughts on “Losing It…

  1. Elle says:

    You are on your way to a great 2013!

    Sometimes it’s great to have accountability, and I can’t think of anyone better than your daughter (plus you want to be a good role model, she’s at that age…).

    It’s true about having addictive personalities. I just which I would change to an exercise addiction.

    • losedabooze says:

      Yes Elle – hearing it from my daughter was very powerful. With all they are going through – I hope that the changes I’m making, which are NOT easy, will be recognized and perhaps give them motivation to stay positive.

  2. I hear you about how alcohol and food can go hand in hand. I also can relate to the idea of putting too much on your plate while you are trying not to drink, it can be very overwhelming.

    Food for thought (no pun intended). When I went to treatment, I found that I was so freaking hungry. It was explained to me that when I person stops drinking, the body doesn’t stop craving those calories. All that booze was packed with calories – something our body was used to having. I ate more in the 28 days I was in rehab than I had in months and by the end of it – I had lost weight. It took a week or so for my metabolism to even out but it did. I craved sugar like nothing else – but that’s because all the vodka I was drinking was packed full of that shit.

    Congrats on how you are doing so far! Keep it up!

    • losedabooze says:

      Thanks simpsonsister!! I didn’t look at it that way but it totally makes sense. My drink of choice was Vodka Lime which I mixed with diet pepsi and wine coolers – wayyyy packed with sugar and 150 calories per bottle. Now I’m doing on weekends diet pepsi (1 a day only) with lime as I’m also trying to cut back on that (I drank way too much of it and I know it wasn’t good for me). I’m happy they finally brought LaCroix water to Canada – that is now my drink of choice when I’m looking for my ‘bubbly’ drink 🙂

  3. eacarrington2 says:

    Wow helene, YOu are doing great! That was an amazing conversation with your daughter, proud of you and her for noticing. thank you for sharing your life with us and for being such a motivator.

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