I finally got an AF day in yesterday. I have to remind myself of all that my body goes through when I drink too much… The heartburn, the aches/pains, the swelling, the discomfort in my stomach, the bloating, the lack of energy or motivation to get things done, the irritability and anxiety, restlessness that comes when the body craves the drink after too many days of drinking…
I know it will take a bit of time for my body to detox (yet again). I didn’t sleep well and the aches and pains – I feel like an old arthritic woman this morning. NOT GOOD. I know some of the symptoms come not eating well, not exercising – all a result of having drinks because I don’t feel like doing any of that and crave unhealthy stuff when I’m in drink mode.
I know that no matter whether I drink or don’t drink – my life is what it is (as I write this dealing with the issue of my kids’ school refusal yet again and major friggen potty mouth stinking FUCKEN attitude). I know this is what sometimes drives me over the edge to drinking but seriously – it doesn’t help. It only adds to my shitty feelings.
I’m not going to let them ruin my day. I’m going to go to work and be productive. I’m going to attend her counseling session tonight and continue to work on resolving issues. I’m going to go visit my friend tonight and escape for a few hours and forget who I am … and live in the fantasy stuff we have fun with : )
Now I’m taking off for work early as my efforts to work from home to make sure my kids go to school is all for NOT this morning. Well I think my oldest is going – but who fucken knows and I’m seriously ready to just say FUCK it all with them! Such BULLSHIT!!