Surviving a Heartbreaking Day

My 15 ye2095279668-funny-mothers-day-quotes-from-teenage-daughter-5ar old and I had a horrible message exchange yesterday morning before she headed out to school (or in her words ‘before I forced her to go even though she was sick’). The way she talked to me. The things she said – while I know it was button, pushing really hurt, and I was just at the end of my rope.

This poster above – well she’s only 15 but she’s at the 18 stage and after I dropped her off again in the city (she’s been going over the past month from Thursday night to Monday night so only really here with me 3 nights out of 4) – she said she doesn’t want to come back here anymore and that she is happy where she is in the city.

My older daughter was supposed to get an apartment and she was going to move in with her – this was planned. But her just dropping out of school and not coming home to stay at her boyfriend’s until my older daughter secures a place was NOT in the plans. But I’m done fighting.

She kept saying how miserable I made her. How she cried every day while she was here at our new place. Despite all of MY efforts to try and make this work with the extras that I put in place and even delaying the move for a year. But it’s MY time to be happy too!

I received some supportive words from the Special Education Counselor which helped – and I just broke down and cried… I talk about that a bit in the video (link below) – where she said I hope you feel better… as I wept during our call. She encouraged me to go home and have a nice glass of wine after I dropped my daughter off but I explained that I couldn’t… Day 71 AF – Despite the Stressors

So I’m waking up to day 72 AF. I booked the day off as vacation – but really a mental health day.

I slept in a bit (woke up at 5:30am which is the time I normally leave for work). I’m going to do my workout soon and then I’ll get to some packing for my daughters.

I am a mom who is now alone at home. My partner is still gone hunting (he comes back tomorrow night – and I haven’t shared the details of what has happened as I don’t want to ruin his last day/night there).

I’m going to make the most of it and I will stay positive and on track! I look forward to the days when my daughters reach the age of 25 and come to appreciate all that I’ve tried to do for them.

4 thoughts on “Surviving a Heartbreaking Day

  1. Healthy4me says:

    Helene, you are doing fantastic ! You are a human trying in hard times. I am so amazed and very proud of you at how strong you have become. You are doing what you said all those years on spark you were going to do. Keep going, please know it is encouraging to all people that have drinking problems, porton control food wise, emotional eating ( still mine) and all mothers of teen girls! It does change says a mother of a now 36 yr Believe me you have done so well, something clicked and I commend you! Stay strong girl. I woke yet again…saying today is day 1 of no sugar. I know if I was a drinker, it could be a problem. Good going!

  2. Marie L Gray says:

    Better days are coming!!

  3. Lori W says:

    I am so proud of you. It is such a stressful time and yet you are keeping your eye on your goal.

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