Today’s exercises including re-reading the BEFORE ME and really ‘feeling’ with all my senses the pain of that experience. The book explained that our issue with drinking is actually the gift and that our past was perfect… All things do happen for a reason. I have so been there/done that with the Before Me and how yuck it makes me feel. Even the visualizing – I could feel the tension knotting up inside me. I don’t want that to be part of my life anymore.
I loved this video they shared as a bonus resource too – and for me the tools/resources and go to people are my groups (HAMS, SP Cutting Down the Booze Team and this sober blogging world). Craig Ferguson, a former late-night host, shares an extremely funny and enlightening personal story about how absurd his drinking was before he got sober.
The other action step was to list things I’d do to distract myself if the craving for alcohol surged and also to plan some rewards. I’ve posted this before but here it is again:
So here’s the book’s (Responsible Drinking: Moderation Management…) 3 dozen ‘Distractions’ to take your mind off the urge and point it in a healthier direction:
1. Take a walk.
2. Take a drive.
3. Do exercise at home or go to the gym.
4. Go jogging.
5. Listen to favorite music.
6. Telephone a friend.
7. Clean out the garage.
8. Cook something interesting.
9. Go to the library or bookstore.
10. Work in the yard.
11. Clean and polish the car.
12. Take a shower or bath.
13. Read the newspaper, a magazine, or a book.
14. Drink something nonalcoholic.
15. Get a video.
16. Write a letter or e-mail.
17. Plan your next vacation.
18. Make up a grocery store or hardware store shopping list.
19. Go shopping or window-shopping.
20. Plan on redecorating a room.
21. Clean out the refrigerator.
22. Have sex.
23. Go to a driving range.
24. Pay the bills.
25. Make up a household budget or plan future finances.
26. Check stock market action and look for investments.
27. Talk to your children.
28. Get a haircut or manicure.
29. Get a massage.
30. Work on a sewing project.
31. Start a journal.
32. Look into your geneology on the Internet.
33. Visit a friend.
34. Get the snapshot collection in order.
35. Make popcorn.
36. Start a woodwork project.
My rewards… well a wonderful family trip to Barbados in April where I will be thinner, healthier and successful in reaching this 100% commitment to a sober REBOOT! This CAN and will be done… my past was the failure and the present is my success!
I woke up this morning realizing that it was exactly 6 years ago today that made the ‘move’ to my current new city to make a fresh start for myself and my girls. A big part of the reason that I chose to move from my home town of over 40 years was to get away from the things that surrounded me that no longer served me, including the circle of friends who drank and took pain pills as a way of life to get through each day. I was also part of that world as I was dealing with a lot of loss and hurt (from divorce, to deaths of close loved ones, financial difficulties, etc).
One of the things I’ve learned as I reflect on this change and anniversary is that it’s time to write a completely NEW story and let go of the past story, the past behaviors and make way for NEW ones.
I have not been AF since September 10th – having allowed myself to slip back into the daily drinking habits and TODAY that changes again. My NEW story involves shifting to a healthier lifestyle and getting back into a routine that will nurture and allow me to continue growing in positive ways. It’s time to shift the focus to GOOD and positive forces.
I have learned many lessons and continue to do so – change is the only constant in our lives. One thing that I know for sure that stands true is we can only ever live ONE DAY AT A TIME. And so today started with me waking from a great night’s rest and early morning workout. My plan is to take the day to clean the slate and start writing this new story that involves success and positive outcomes.
I continue to access my support networks through SparkPeople and my wonderful Cutting Down the Booze Team as well as the new source of support that I’ve found through the HAMS website. I am blessed to work in an environment that supports and promotes healthy active living. I’m truly grateful for all that I have in my life today.
And so – NO REGRETS – six years ago I made a bold move, started over and today – I start a NEW Story! Part of which will include perhaps a bit more presence here. Here’s to a FABULOUS New Day!
Well my last post was about my first AA meeting and now I’m back to honestly believe it is NOT meant for me. I just cannot accept and say that I am powerless over ‘anything’ – and I have found that with HAMS – they agree with this philosophy. I listened to a radio/talk show about how the 12 steps can really do a number on you. While I know it is good for some – it just was NOT for me.
And so I’ve found this new resource and I’ve downloaded their book “How to Change Your Drinking” http://www.hamsnetwork.org/ and I am going to join in for the chat soon.
It’s a new month and I’m AF today and plans to be so for a bit of a break as I get ready for my move. I spent the whole day going through old albums and cleansing myself of the old memories too… scanning pics and getting rid of a lot of them too. It feels good to let go of some of those old memories once and for all. I am feeling quite productive and powerful today.