It’s only day 4 and I can already start to feel that feeling I get when I’ve been without the booze for a while. That alcohol fog is lifting and I’m thinking more clearly, my concentration is better and I’m more productive.
I was reading some posts in my team thread through another website about how some were feeling after having drinks the night before – the bloating, the headaches, the general shitty feelings – I much prefer to be feeling as I do right now… On game, feeling good about the direction I’m taking with my life and pursuing other passions with the free time.
It’s incredible how much time I wasted in my life with the drinking. I let things fall behind even with general things like daily or weekly household chores and then the mess would drive me nuts and spiral me into more crap/shitty feelings – even feeling overwhelmed by it all.
One thing I know I’ll have to watch for because it’s what has happened in the past is that I am all ‘gung ho’ to do this and keep so busy I tire myself out so I’m trying to pace myself now. If I start to think of ALL the things I’ve put off because I was too busy drinking I get discouraged so I am not going there. Instead I’m going to focus on the good things, what I am accomplishing with every day that passes.
I also know I have to let go of the whole ‘counting’ thing (even though I refer to it here and have on each blog) and just go with the flow and make each day the best I can.
We have our long weekend coming up (I live in Ottawa, Canada) and my youngest daughter will be away leaving me with my 16 year old. We are supposed to do something together, but she may very well end up hanging out with friends instead so I need to make a plan of what I’ll do – or what we’ll do. The weather is supposed to be nice. I am not rich with funds so if I do something it has to be low cost or no cost. Unfortunately I do enjoy the whole retail therapy when I’m going through this – but perhaps I can just do window shopping.
I am still ok in that I’m not craving but on payday, Friday of a long weekend – the voices may get louder… and I’ll turn to my blogging to work it through and reach out the support I need. For today – I am just grateful for how I’m feeling – clear, strong and healthier than I was on Monday.