Through the years…

As I spent my weekend doing some de-cluttering and cleaning, I came across my old yearly calendars which I used to track the exercise, weight and alcohol free days I had from month to month and through the years from 2008 to today. What I saw was the same pattern over and over again… I do well for a bit, then bamm! Something happens in my life, I drink more, and all the work I put into losing weight is lost and the weight is regained. Then I get bummed out and it’s just a vicious cycle!!

I also came across some old family pics and in most of the ‘party’ ones, very few did not include a table full of beers or someone with a drink in hand. It’s no wonder that I kind of went the same route – it’s what I saw and adopted as a norm, but I’m ready to change that pattern.

On day 9 of 100 only, but honestly feel a difference inside about this time being different. I was faced with some huge stressors today (dealing with my kids and their refusal to go to school – along with the myriad of other issues they are presenting around anxiety/depression). It was overwhelming this morning and it brought me to tears. But not ONCE did I ever think “I can’t wait to get home to have a drink”…

Instead, I came home and attended my own counselling session where I was able to basically debrief and be acknowledged in terms of handling things as best I can. I then had a bite to eat and just now finished a 50 minute workout.

Winding down the day and getting ready to get some reading done before I turn in. Wolfie didn’t dare talk to me today lol…

3 thoughts on “Through the years…

  1. Elle says:

    Proud of you girlfriend!!!

  2. eacarrington2 says:

    tears can be cathartic….you are doing so well. Happy for you really!

  3. Great stuff 🙂

    The stressors will be there. Kids not paying attention or lollygagging or saying “no” to the most basic things, getting cranky, etc. are always going to be there (I see them every day with my boys!) In the end it’s how we react. We can’t control everything and everyone (we wish, don’t we? lol) but we can control our reactions. And my old habit of course was to drink those things away. Great in the short term…but then we know where it goes from there.

    There is something to be said about breaking through these repetitive cycles – avoiding that “boom” and sitting with the crappy feelings and such and then getting through on the other side of it. It’s amazing how many times I go through something that I would normally drink through, and realize, wow, that wasn’t so bad.

    It sounds like you’re on the path to something better than it’s ever been before.

    I look forward to reading more.


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